Life In a Notebook

Why is it that in order to save something, we are always asked to sacrifice something else?

From the simplest phases of student life to the complexities of adulthood—this truth follows us everywhere.
If you want to score well, at some point you sacrifice sleep.
If you want to keep someone in your life, you adjust, bend, and compromise.

No matter the situation, the act of letting go is always in motion—quiet, constant, and unavoidable.

This past year, I focused far too much on the external world.
Other people’s opinions.
Their silent judgments.
Their imagined thoughts about my choices, my life, me.

Often at my own cost.

And where did that lead me?

To make others happy, I moulded myself into situations that never truly belonged to me.
But what’s wrong with that, Aadhya? Isn’t that adaptability?

No.
It stops being adaptability when, deep in your consciousness, you know you’re placing yourself last.When your peace is disrupted—not accidentally, but deliberately—for the sake of others.

How naive.

At first, I kept asking myself what was wrong with me.
Then I looked around.

I realised I wasn’t living my life . Similarly the people around me weren’t living theirs—I was watching different actors play different characters in their movies.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

So yes, maybe we are united as mankind—but in the most misaligned way possible.

And then, today, it struck me:

What about the version of me before all this?
What happened to her?

Without hesitation, without overthinking, I pulled out my phone.
Opened the notes app.
And broke the cycle of overthinking the unthinkable.

This—right here—is me.
As I was before the noise.

Signing in again.
Unapologetically.

I can’t wait to write more.

Love and only love.

@writeraadhyasingh